When my Intercessor Heart Breaks
Today, I share with you what happened to my intercessor’s heart over the past month. I believe God created those he called to intercession with special hearts. He gave us hearts big enough to truly care for others as we pray. But, sometimes, that means that our hearts become broken.
I knew my heart was hurting when I prayed with our missionaries who were enduring a war zone. Hearing their stories and praying over them was heart wrenching. But, somehow at the end of each day praying, the Lord helped me leave all those prayers with him and sleep, trusting God for the answers he would bring.
A month ago a barrage of difficult situations seemed to arise. Many people were reaching out for prayer and God allowed me to listen carefully and carry these ever so hard situations to him in prayer. My heart was hurting for those enduring so very much. Yet, the Lord was merciful and each night he helped me leave the prayers with him. He would be the one to answer these prayers, not me. It was my calling to pray.
Right after I returned home from a trip to the mission field, I received a prayer request from a family member. Her sister’s baby came early and was several weeks premature. Would I pray? I prayed. Her baby died two weeks later. Within a couple of days, the next request came from a missionary. Her daughter, who was so very excited about expecting her first baby, just had a miscarriage. Would I pray? I prayed.
The next request came only a day later from the mission field. A mother expecting a second child had just been told of birth defects her unborn child will have. The doctor is recommending an abortion. The couple is heartbroken and do not want to give up on this child. Would I pray? I prayed and I continue to pray.
The very next morning, I was asked to pray for a young family. They were expecting their first born child, a son. All was going well and then the mother’s uterus ruptured. The baby was quickly delivered by cesarean section, but both the mother’s and baby’s lives were in danger. Would I pray? I prayed. More news followed. They saved the mother’s life, but she had to have a surgery that meant she would never be able to have children. Her infant son died. I prayed and my intercessor heart broke for the tragedy that had befallen this young couple.
I can honestly say I still completely trust God for the answers he brings to our prayers. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways more than I can understand. I trust Him. Completely. God gave me a heart to care, and I cared. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never met this young woman. God still allowed me to care and to pray fervently. I Praise Him that she is alive and I know God is at work in her life. But, this time, it knocked me down and I was numb.
A week ago, I cried. I cried for the loss of three babies here on earth. I cried for the mother who is holding onto hope in spite of the diagnosis for her unborn child. I cried for these mothers and only then did God heal my heart. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Cor 12:26
God has called me to a life of intercession. That means I will pray often, I will Praise him daily, and sometimes it means I will cry on behalf of another. Jesus wept. John 11:35